


It's Time

by Ashkela



Category: Carmilla (Web Series) RPF
Genre: F/F, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8483968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashkela/pseuds/Ashkela
Summary: You really need to tell her how you feel. (You kind of need to have seen the alternate kiss takes for season 3 to get the initial reference, but it's a minor detail)





	

“I told you they wouldn’t keep the version where you picked me up. No one would believe it.” Dark chocolate eyes smirk as the scene fades away, glancing down at your costar, currently snuggled into your side. 

“Only because Carmilla would automatically be the stronger one and you almost always kiss me first and thus she looks like the top in the relationship!” She looks up at you, eyebrows raised. You’ve had this conversation before, and it never fails to end with you having to go home and take a cold shower.

“Are you saying that you don’t think I’m a top?” You turn slightly on the couch, pulling away from her warmth, but knowing that the distance is necessary if you’re going to make this talk go differently. It’s time. It has to be time, before you’re separated because of work or she gets a date with that guy she’s been talking to, or she finds out how you feel without you telling her, or any of the hundred other things that could go wrong. 

“What? Nat… I mean, come on,” she stumbles, the first indication she has noticed that you didn’t give her the next line of the almost rehearsed banter that this usually leads to.

“Carmilla may be a fucking bad ass vampire, but she’s a whipped little kitty cat where it comes to Laura. No way is she the top.”

You let it sit for a beat, waiting to see if she’ll continue and answer your question. Her hands, which had been tucked under her knees, now hang in the air as she finishes gesticulating wildly to emphasize her point. “I mean, don’t you think?” she finishes lamely, realizing that you aren’t responding.

“Top or bottom, Cupcake,” she blushes as you drop your voice into your Carmilla register, “I think the important part is that she can make Laura lose her mind.” This wasn’t how you wanted to do this. You wanted to be able to get up the nerve to tell her as you. But being Carmilla, being someone with hundreds of years of experience and knows how her love feels about her just makes it easier. You promise yourself you’ll drop the act soon. Just… not at this second.

She’s staring at you now. Her pupils are blown, the way they get when you’ve been running flirty Hollstein lines at each other for hours between glasses of wine and takeout Chinese food. “Besides,” you whisper as you lean over her, gently pushing her hands back down to her sides, “that wasn’t my question.” Your confidence reaches its limits, and you rest your forehead against hers, staring into her eyes, so much lighter than yours, but still a warm milk chocolate.

She gulps, looking back at you for only a moment before her eyes drop, halting at your lips for a split second before looking down and away. “Natasha, I… I don’t know, you know that.” She pulls back, her eyes turning back up to you, and you see the confusion in them. This is the risk you ran when you used that voice. That she wouldn’t know how serious you were. Okay, Negovanlis, time to woman up.

You back off, sitting against the corner of your couch, letting her breathe and turn on her own to face you. “Elise… yeah, I know that. But I want you to know the answer.” No, you moron, don’t make it a flirtation about sex! Try again, quick before she thinks you’re just a horndog! “I mean, I just, look, we’ve known each other for a few years now, and we’re done with the show, and even if the movie does get off the ground, we’re doing other projects and I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna have this chance so I’m just gonna say it and willyougoonadatewithme?” The last eight words come out in a rush that is barely audible, but the blush on your face has to betray what you said, right? Right?

She’s staring now. You hold her gaze, trying to will her to know how serious you are, how much you want this, want her. How the thought of holding her in your arms for real makes them feel achingly empty. How you want to be able to kiss her without there being a camera and six production staff there, or people waiting outside the door for you to finish practicing, or anyone in the world knowing that this is the woman of your dreams. All you want is for her to see you and know that you want to be with her.

“I… Nat…, I just,” your heart lurches with every stumble she makes. You feel tears spring up, hot and burning, but you refuse to let them fall. She doesn’t owe you a thing. You fell for her and she didn’t fall for you and that’s that. You take a deep breath, ready to let her off the hook. Your eyes fall to your lap.

“Hey, no. Natasha, look at me,” she interrupts before you can release her from the question. Her hands reach out and pull your face up, bringing you back to your previous position, foreheads resting gently against each other, staring into warm brown depths that make you feel safe and cared for and understood. “You startled me, that’s all. I didn’t think you’d ever ask. Randomly kiss me while drunk to see how I responded, that’s what I thought you’d do. Hell, that’s what I was going to do; I just needed a few more drinks in me…oops.” For once, her rambling has helped you out of a scary situation instead of getting into one.

Relief floods through you. She wants this too. She isn’t rejecting you. Once again, you are on the same wavelength, and there’s really only one way you can celebrate it. So you reach for her hands, tangle your fingers together into a knot that no one can break apart, and finally, FINALLY, kiss Ms. Elise Janae Bauman for no other reason than because you want her to know you care.

You can fight over who’s a top or bottom later.

**Author's Note:**

> For Sarah. I respect the privacy and stated truths of the persons involved in this ship, this story, this fandom. This is a work of fiction to make a friend smile. Also cuz let's face it, they're gorgeous.


End file.
